Mr. George Moves to Bonnyville


SCENE I: The edge of a swamp not far from Bonnyville.
(Myrtle sits with her back to a rock. She seems to be talking with someone behind the rock.)

Myrtle: Ya know, Mr. George, I like slime. (She pauses and thinks about this for some time. She looks at her very dirty bare feet.) I like the way it feels between the toes when you walk through it. (Plays with her toes Then picks up some mud and holds it close to her face.) I like the smell of rotting things. (Takes a deep breath through her nose.) I like to watch the bubbles wiggle up from the blackish water. It makes me wonder what sort of murky creatures might be breathing down there.

(She shivers, and then climbs up and sits on the rock, and looks down into the water suspiciously). All kinds of creepy things live in the swamp...but I always feel safe when you're around.

You're my best friend -- my only real friend. Did you know that?
And this swamp is like my real home. (Pause.)
I don't have any friends in Bonnyville.

(Jumps up.) But enough talk. Let's go see if we can catch some frogs over by that cyprus tree. (An enormous ugly slimly green alligator come out from behind the rock and joins her. Myrtle gives him an enthusiastic hug. They cross the stages, dancing and frolicking as they go.)

SCENE II: The next day. The kitchen of the Pompedou family.

(Mr. Pompedou is sitting at one end of the table, absorbed in his newspaper. Myrtle, Thomas and Michelle are sitting around the table. Mrs. Pompedou is frying pancakes and eggs at the stove. The scene is laid out so that a small section of the neighbors house is on stage right, with the Pompedou's kitchen taking up the bulk of the stage. The neighbor in the house next door sits beside her window, and has a telephone hanging from the wall, or on a small table within her reach. This and the swamp are the two main sets. As the scene opens, the neighbor, Stella Stonington, sits close to the window and, with the aid of a telescope, watches the events in the house next door.)

Thomas: Mom.

Mrs. P: Yes, dear?

Thomas: I can't eat this egg.

Mrs. P: Why is that dear?

Thomas: The yolk is broken.

Mrs. P: Well, it'll get broken when you eat it anyhow.

Thomas: You know I hate it when the egg yolk is broken.

Michelle: Why don't you put a band aid on it?

Thomas: You keep out of this.

Michelle: I was just trying to help.

Thomas: (Looks down at his egg, and wrings his hands anxiously.) I just hate it.

Mrs. P: What is it you hate, dear?

Thomas: Broken egg yolks.

Mrs. P: Oh, well, why don't you give it to Michelle. I'll fix you another one.

Michelle: Give it to Michelle?!?! How come I get all his broken egg yolks.

Mrs. P: It doesn't seem to bother you. Be nice. You know how Thomas is.

Michelle: I guess I do. Last night he just about had a fit when his gravy overflowed the little hollow place he made in his mashed potatoes, and went into his peas. I thought he was going to spaz out on the spot. (Laughs).

Thomas: (Hands her his plate with the broken egg yolk, and smiles.) Be nice. (She rolls her eyes back and shakes her head, but takes the plate.)

Michelle: (Looks out the window and sees Stella Stonington looking at them with a pair of binoculars.) Hey, there's old Stella, trying to see what we're eating.

Mr. P: (Looks up from his newspaper.) That old busy-body.

Ms. P: Now, dear...

Michelle: Hi, Ms. Stonington. (Waves at her. Then holds up her plate to view). See, its a broken yolk. Pretty interesting huh?
(Ms. Stonington beats a hasty retreat.)

Michelle: Aw, she's gone. I thought she'd get a thrill out of this egg yolk.

Amber: (Enters, studying her face in a hand mirror while she puts the final touch on her eye make-up. She is overdressed for an ordinary school day.) Michelle, Scruffy was in my room again last night. I wish you would keep him out.
Michelle: How do you know she was in your room.

Amber: Dog hairs were all over the place.

Michelle: As often as you clean your room, that might be from last year.

Mrs. P: Did you clean you room this morning dear?

(Michelle smirks at her.)

Amber: Sort of.

Michelle: "Sort of." Your room's the same old mess it always is.

Amber: That's no excuse for Scruffy to be in there.

Thomas: You should keep better control of him, Michelle.

Mrs. P: The children are at it again, Jack. Make them stop.

Mr. P: (Peers over his paper.)You kids stop, now.

Michelle: Stop what, Dad?

Mr. P: Ah, what are they doing, dear.

Mrs. P: They are arguing again.

Mr. P: Stop arguing. (Goes back to his paper.)

Michelle: You should talk about pets, Thomas, with your 23 rabbits in the back yard , 14 hamsters in your room, 8 gerbils in the attic, and 12 Iguanas in the garage.

Thomas: 26 rabbits.

Michelle: What happened?

Thomas: I'm breeding them. Its part of an experiment I'm doing.

Michelle: 26, then. That's worse.

Thomas: I keep my pets under control. And they never smell.

Mrs. P: You have to admit that he is neat, Michelle. The cages are always clean and in good order.

Amber: I never find Tom's animals in my room. But that dog of your's...

Thomas: I don't trust Scruffy. He'd eat some of my pets if he had half a chance.

Mr. P: Look here. (Shakes his newspaper.) They are going to drain the swamps down on the peninsula. It's supposed to provide room for development -- boost the economy and all.

Myrtle: (screams) They can't.

(Everybody falls silent and turns to look at her. She never is like this.)

Mrs. P: For heaven's sake. Please don't scream. What is it?

Myrtle: What will happen to all the animals there?

Thomas: That's easy. Without any water, they'll die.

Myrtle: They can't. We can't let them.

Mr. P. There's not much we can do about it dear. Why is it such a problem for you?

Myrtle: (Thinks a minute.) Well, if they are going to do that, I'll just have to bring him home to live here.

Mrs. P: Who is that dear?

Myrtle: My friend


SCENE III: The next day.

(In the Pompedou kitchen Mr.P is sitting at the table, his nose buried in his newspaper again. Mrs. P. is at the counter mixing up something for dinner. Stella is on the phone.)

Stella: They were at it again, Marge. I wish I knew what that family finds to argue about. Ohh, if I could just be a fly on the wall, what wouldn't I learn. And that youngest one -- what's her name... Myrtle. They let her do whatever. I tell you she's a wild one. Always running around dirty and bare-foot, like some kind of primitive. She hasn't got any friends. Who'd want to be
friends with a dirty little thing like that? (A long pause while Stella stares off stage. Her jaw drops.)
Marge. It's an alligator, Marge.An alligator's caught that Pompedou girl. (She watches as Myrtle comes around the corner, leading Mr. George on a string.) No, I guess she caught the alligator.
Pause as she listens on the telephone while looking out the window. The alligator resists coming into the yard and up to the house.

Stella: They're fighting Marge. Robert Shaftner needs to hear about this.

(Pause)

He's the one in charge of 911.

Pause

How should I know what he'll do Marge? He'll think of something. One time I saw him get a huge python out from under someone's house -- with his bare hands.

Pause

Well, call him as soon as we hang up.

Pause

Wait. I think the alligator is going to eat her. Oh, this is going to be terrible to watch.

(Goes and gets her binoculars. Watches with avid interest.)

I can't bear to see this.

(Cranes her neck and adjusts the binoculars.)

What?....Oh, all right. But call back as soon as you're done.

(Hangs up and continues to watch.)

Myrtle: (Continues to tug at the alligator. Calls from the yard) Mom! I brought my friend.

Mrs. P: That's nice dear. Bring her in so I can meet her.

Myrtle: (To Mr. George) See. She wants to meet you.

Come on. (This seems to work. The alligator follows her into the kitchen where Mrs. P has her back to them as she is working at the sink.)

Mrs. P: I'm always glad when you are able to bring a little friend by, Myrtle. (Turns around, and is naturally horrified at the sight of the "little friend.") AAAAyyyyiiii. Jack! Jack!

Myrtle: Don't scare him mom.

Mrs. P: Jack!

Myrtle: Mom. This is Mr. George. George. This is mom.

Mrs. P: Nice to meet you Mr. George, I'm sure. Jack. get in here.

Myrtle: I think he likes you, Mom.

Mrs. P: Get him out of here.

Myrtle: He's my friend.

Mrs. P: But he's not my friend, dear.

Myrtle: He won't hurt anything.

Mrs. P. How do you know what he'll do. He might eat one of the kids. Or a gerbil or something.

Myrtle: But you said I could bring a friend by anytime. You've said that lots of times.

Mrs. P: But I didn't know your friend was a...a...

Myrtle: He's an alligator, mom. Let me keep him.

Mrs. P: Jack!

Mr. P: (Wanders in with his newspaper.) Yes dear. What is it. (Sees the alligator.) Ahhh! Good Grief!!! What is this??!!
(Goes and stands behind Mrs. P:)

Myrtle: This is Mr. George, Dad. Mr. George, this is my daddy. (Mr. George waddles over to try to sniff at his feet, so get to know him. Mr. P hides keeps his wife between himself and Mr. George as he backs away.)

Mr. P: Get him out of here, Myrtle. Where did you get a thing like that?

Myrtle: In the swamp. He's my friend, Dad. He'll die when they drain the swamp unless we let him stay with us.

(The other three children arrive to see what all the commotion is about.)

Amber: What's all the noise about? (Sees the alligator.) EEEEEEEeeee! What's that?

Thomas: Its an alligator, silly. Anybody can see that. (Studies him more carefully.) Alligator mississipiensis to be exact.

Myrtle: He's my only and best friend, Dad. You can't let him die.

Thomas: He'd never survive here. This isn't his habitat.

Mr. P. Thomas is right. It's not his habitat, dear.

Myrtle: I'd take very good care of him.

Mr. P. An alligator just isn't a natural thing to have around the a house.

Myrtle: (Goes over and puts her arm around her dad, and smiles up into his face with her sweetest smile.) Pleeease, Dad.

Mr. P: Well... (takes a couple of deep breaths). You'd have to keep his place clean...

Myrtle: Oh, I would.

Mr. P: And feed him. How would you feed him?

Myrtle: Marshmallows, dad. He eats marshmallows.

Mr. P. And empty his litter box.

Myrtle: But of course.

Mrs. P: You mean you are going to let her keep him Jack?

Mr. P: Well, if he's her only friend, what can we do?

Amber: Great. Just what we need around this house. Alligator mississipiensis. I mean my friends already think my family is weird. I could just die.

Mr. P. I don't think alligators really eat marshmallows, Jack.

Mrs P: Thomas, you're into animals and all. What does an alligator mississipiensis eat?

Thomas: I hate to think. (Sighs deeply.) And I thought I had troubles with Scruffy.

Myrtle: I think he probably just eats cabbages and turnips. Things like that.

Thomas: Sure.

Michelle: Wow! This is the coolest thing that's happened around here in years.

Thomas: This is the end of my gerbils. I just know it.


CHAPTER IV. A few days later. Kitchen of the Pompedou House.

(Stella is stationed by her window, with her spy glass, trying to see what is happening. Mr. P is sitting at the kitchen table. Thomas is standing near him, talking)

Thomas: (Is obviously tense. Paces -- rubs his hands together, etc.) I've researched it carefully Dad. Look here. This is the list of things that alligators are known to eat. (Reads his list). Rabbits. Gerbils. Hamsters. Iguanas. Small dogs.

Mr.P. Well, Mr. George eats mostly marshmallows and cabbages.

Thomas: But they eat meat, Dad. Everything I've read about them says that.

Mr. P. He gets all the meat he needs when Myrtle takes him down to the swamp. He catches fish there.

Thomas: But they are already beginning to drain that swamp. When it's gone, what then?

Mr. P: I don't know. I hadn't given much thought to that.

Thomas: Rabbits, gerbils, hamsters, and iguanas. That's what.

Mr. P. He won't bother your pets.

Thomas: And maybe an occasional small dog.

Mr. P.: We'll just buy him fish.

Thomas: Do you have any idea how much that would cost? Alligators eat a lot.

Mr. P: Well, maybe you're right. (Sighs.) Amber doesn't like him either. She says it makes us look strange to have as alligator as a pet.

Thomas: Mr. George has to go, Dad. You have to be firm with Myrtle.

Mr. P: I'll talk with her, Thomas.

Thomas: Please do Dad. I've got to run. I'm late for science club. (Departs in a hurry.)

Mr. P: (Sits at the table thinking all this over. Then hollers.) Myrtle! Myrtle!

Myrtle: (From off stage.) What?.

Mr. P: I need to talk with you.

Myrtle: (Enters with Mr. George.) What about?

Mr. P: It's about Mr. George.

Myrtle: He's wonderful isn't he. (Goes over to him and gives him an affectionate hug and a kiss.)

Mr. P: Yes, well... you see...

Myrtle: Where are the marshmallows, Dad. (Rummages in the cupboard.)

Mr. P: Over there on the table.

Myrtle: Ah, thanks. (Goes and gets some marshmallows and begins feeding them to George.)

Mr. P: So what I have to say is...

Myrtle: He just loves marshmallows. Don't you think that's funny, Dad? He's so gentle.

Mr. P: I really have to talk with you, Myrtle.

Myrtle: Sure Dad. Go ahead. I'm listening.

Mr. P: Well,...ah... we have to view things sometimes... from...well...ah


(Bobby and Shelley Geenfield Arrive at the door and knock.)

Myrtle: Come in.

Ashley: We wanted to see the alligator.

Bobby: (Hiding behind her.) Yeah. We heard he was humongous.

Myrtle: Well, here he is. Come on in and see.

(The two children slip into the house, keeping their distance from Mr. George who they watch with suspicion. Bobby keeps Ashley between himself and the alligator.)

Bobby: (Looking out from behind Ashley.) Awesome.

Ashley: Why are you hiding behind me, Bobby?

Bobby: It's a trick I learned from the book "Billy Goats Gruff."

Ashley: What's that?

Bobby: It's called "always hide behind someone bigger than you are."

Ashley: (Sarcastically) Great. How's that going to help me?

Bobby: Tell him how plump and juicy Mom is.

Ashley: (With shocked indignation.) Bobby!!!

Bobby: It's just a trick to keep him from eating you. He'll never get a chance to eat Mom.

Myrtle: He won't hurt you, Bobby. Come out and pet him.

Bobby: (Comes out and approaches Mr. George diffidently.) There, there. That's a nice boy...be good.

Myrtle: He IS good. He looks mean but he won't hurt a fly.

Bobby: (Brings himself to pat the alligator on the nose.) Awesome. (Looks up and sees Stella next door.) Hey, look who's there. (Waves.) Hi, Ms. Stonington. (She ducks back out of sight.)

Ashley: I never knew anyone who had a full grown alligator for a pet before.

Myrtle: He's more than a pet. He's a friend. He's the best friend I ever had. Now that he lives with us I'm happy all the time.

(They all get closer to Mr. George. Bobby even brings himself to hug him. The are all silent for a minute, admiring the alligator.)

Myrtle: What was it you wanted to talk with me about Dad.

Mr. P: Talk? Oh, nothing. Nothing, dear.

SCENE V. Pompedou kitchen. Two weeks later.

(Original set-up with Stella Stonington's kitchen across the yard from the Pompidous's kitchen. Two weeks later. Stella is once again spying on them. Mr. and Mrs. P and Mitchell are sitting around the breakfast table. Mr. P is reading his newspaper. Mrs. P is washing breakfast dishes. Mitchell is drinking hot chocolate.)

Michelle: I love Saturday mornings. For once you can do anything you want.

Mr. P: The Blue Ox are expecting to have a better year.

Mrs. P. Do you think they will dear?

Mr. P: How can they miss?

Michelle: That's not fair, Dad. They did pretty good last year.

Ashley: (Arrives at the door and knocks.) Hey. Anybody home.

Michelle: It's Ashley.

Mrs. P: Come on in dear.

Ashley: Is Myrtle home?

Mrs. P: She got up early -- at the crack of dawn -- and took Mr. George down to the swamp to get fish.

Ashley: Oh. Well, I guess I'll check by later.

Mrs. P.: She'll be back any time now. Sit down, and I'll get you some hot chocolate to drink while you wait.

Ashley: That would be great. (Sits in a vacant seat.)

Amber: (Arrives from off stage, dressed to the hilt.) Good morning everybody.

Michelle: Good grief. (Looks her up and down.) You got a date with Ken Barbydoll?

Amber: These are just my ordinary clothes.

Michelle: You know, that's just like van Gogh.

Amber: Who?

Michelle: The artist. My art teacher says he always had a messy pallet. All his paints and stuff were in all overt the place. Yet somehow he always managed to come up with a cool picture.

Amber: What's that got to do with anything.

Michelle: Well, your room is always a horrible mess, like van Gogh's pallet, yet every morning you emerge from it, a living masterpiece.

Amber: (Indignantly.) I just threw on the first thing I could find. (Straightens her hair, which doesn't really need straightening, and brushes off a bit of imaginary lint from her blouse.)

Ashley: So, how's Mr. George?

Amber: Terrible. Disgusting.

Michelle: You're still mad about your slumber party.

Ashley: Oh yeah? What happened?

Michelle: (Explaining it to Ashley.) Well, see, last week-end Amber and all her friends were going to have a slumber party down in the rec room. They use the rec room because her bed room is...well...

Amber: My room isn't big enough.

Michelle: Whatever. Well, they were all settled down there and it was at that point, ya know, where you start telling ghost stories and about all the creepy things that have ever happened to you.

Ashley. Yeah, that the part I like best.

Michelle: Well someone had just told the story of the Creature From the Black Lagoon. She said when the creature snuck up on people it went slish...slosh....slish...slosh, like that. And I guess all the girls were really psyched. Then one them thought she heard something going slish...slosh...slish...slosh, and all the others thought she was just trying to scare them. But then a second one heard it. (Acts out the girls parts.) "Hush. I hear it too." "Naw. You're just psyched." And then a third one. Slish...slosh...slish...slosh. "There really is something there," says this third one. So they all lay there in their sleeping bags, shivering like it was at the north pole.

Slish..slosh...slish..slosh.... Something really was coming for them. One of the kids couldn't stand it any more and turned on her flash light and shined it right into Mr. George's face. Well, upstairs Myrtle had fed him a ham sandwich with lots of ketchup on it. So his face was kind of messy. He looked like he had just eaten his main course and was coming for desert.
I mean you never saw girls run so fast. Wouldn't their track coach have been proud.

Amber: I don't think it was funny.

Michelle: (Laughing) Girls were running all over town -- in their nighties, ya know, hoping to make it home before the creature of the Black Lagoon caught them.

Amber: And that's the last I ever saw of them. Thanks to this...animal...I'm losing all my friends.

Michelle: Check your room. There might be one or two lost in there.

Mrs. P.: Michelle. Don't make fun of your sister. Go do something useful.

Michelle: Like what?

Mrs. P. Why don't you feed Scruffy.

Michelle: Aw, Okay. Scruffy! Scruffy! Where is he?

Mrs. P. I haven't seen him all morning.

Michelle: Maybe he's in the yard. (Goes outside.) Scruffy! Scruffy! (Comes back into the house.) He never just disappears.

Amber: Maybe... (She shrugs. Everybody gets quiet. they look at each other, then the floor, then glance around the room.)

Michelle: Amber, go check your room. I'll look in the rec room.
Amber: I'm sure he'll turn up.

Michelle: But help med look, okay?

(Both girls exit.)

Mrs. P.: Oh, Jack. This really is getting to be a problem. (A thoughtful pause.) How do we know he won't start eating the children?

Mrs. P.: (Looking up from the newspaper with a vague expression.) What's that dear?

Mrs. P.: I said, how do we know he won't start eating the children?

Mr. P.: Who?

Mrs. P.: Mr. George.

Mr. P.: Oh.

Thomas: (Enters, looking very agitated.) GT347N is definitely missing.

Ashley: Hi, Thomas. What is GT..3 whatever you said.

Thomas: GT347N. He's a Gerbil. All my animals are named by code. It's more systematic that way. GT347N is missing.

Ashley: Maybe one of the other Gerbils ate him.

Thomas: How come I never had a problem until Mr. George showed up?

Mrs. P.: Now Thomas, think. How would Mr. George even get into your Gerbil cage?

Thomas: I don't know...unless he had help.

Mrs. P.: (Pause.) Even with help he'd still be too big.

Michelle: (Dashes into the room.) He's not anywhere. Scruffy!... Scruffy!

Amber: (Enters trying to shake off a baby alligator that is following her and only half out of its shell.) Shoo! Go away. Leave me alone!

Michelle: What is that?

Thomas: It looks like a baby alligator.

Amber: It hatched in my room. (To the alligator, who continues to follow her around, desperately trying to get close to her.) Shoo! What is the matter with this creature?

Thomas: It has imprinted you.

Amber: Is that dirty?

Thomas: It means that you were the first creature it saw when it came out of its shell. It thinks you're its mother.

Amber: Go away! I'm not your mother. I'm not!

Michelle: There is a certain family resemblance.

Amber: Who asked you?

Mrs. P.: Don't worry about it dear. I've been imprinted a bunch of times.

Amber: (To her mother.) By alligators? (Turns to Thomas.) What can I do about it, Thomas?

Thomas: He'll need attachment therapy. Somehow we'll have to convince him that Mr. George is his real mother.

Michelle: That's a funny name for a mother.

Mrs. P.: It looks as though Mr. George is really Ms. George.

Thomas: We could call her Georgina.

Amber: How come you never noticed this before, Thomas? You're the naturalist.

Thomas: What do I know about alligators?

Amber: Not a whole lot, apparently.

Thomas: (Shrugs.) What can I say?

Amber: I don't see how that enormous alligator egg could have been hidden away in my room without me even noticing it.

Michelle: No mystery about that. A full grown brontosaurus could get lost in there.

Amber: (Gives her a dirty look, and then turns her attention to the alligator, which continues to pester her.) Shoo... Please just leave me alone! (leaves room, trying to get away from the baby alligator, with him right on her trail.)

Mrs. P.: Jack, what are we going to do about this?

Mr. P.: (Looks up from his newspaper.) About what?

(There is a knock at the door. It's Stella.)

Mrs. P.: Oh, Stella. Come in.

Stella: I need to talk with you about something.

Mr. P.: (Who has finally put his newspaper down, and it paying attention.) What is it Stella. Is there a problem?

Stella: Someone has flooded my back yard.

Mr. P.: Oh? How did they do that?

Stella: By running a hose into it for... for I don't know how long. Probably days. And the hose is hooked up to your house.

Mrs.P: Oh, dear. Now who could have done that?

Stella: That one with the bare feet... Myrtle.

Mrs. P.: Why would Myrtle have done such a thing?

Thomas: To create a swamp for Mr. George. She told me she was trying to figure out a way to do that.

Mr. P.: Why didn't you say something?

Thomas: I didn't know she was going to do it in Ms. Stonington's yard.

Stella: She turned my yard into a swamp for her pet alligator!?!?

Thomas: Dad, this really is getting out of hand. You have to tell her Myrtle can't have Mr. George.

Amber: (Returns with the alligator still hot on her heals.) Getting out of hand is an understatement. This is impossible. Shoo, now. I'm not your mother.

Michelle: And Mr. -- I mean Mrs. George may have eaten Scruffy. Please make Myrtle get rid of her Dad.

Amber: (To Michelle.) It's not such a joke anymore now that something you care about gets hurt, is it?

Michelle: I'm sorry Amber. But don't be mad at me now. (Begins to cry.)

Amber: (Comes over and hugs her to give her comfort.) Maybe he'll turn up. (Has to be pushing the baby alligator away with her foot as she tries to comfort her sister.)

Mr. P.: I guess I will have to tell her.

Mrs P.: There doesn't seem to be any other way, dear.

Thomas: Be firm with her this time, Dad. No backing down when she cries.

Mr. P.: Yes. I'll have to be firm. Right. Firm.

Amber: (To the baby alligator. Screams.) Leave me alone. Don't you understand, I hate alligators. I think you are slimy and disgusting. I would kill myself if I had to be your mother. Thomas, can we get started with that attachment therapy? I'm going crazy.

Thomas: We can't start attachment therapy until Mr. George -- I mean Georgina -- arrives.

Amber: Well, lets get started with some un-attachment therapy, then. Come with me to the Rec room. I'll have more space to get away from him there.

Thomas: (Shrugs.) I'll do what I can. (They leave together.)

Michelle: I'm going to look for Scruffy again. If that alligator ate him, I'll...I'll...

Mrs.: P. What will you do dear?

Michelle: I don't know. (Begins to whimper again.)

Mrs.: P. There, there. (Hugs her.)

Michelle: (Leaves by the outside door.) Scruffy!...Scruffy!...

Stella: (To Mrs. P.:) Why don't you come with me, Daisy Mae. Lets drink a cup of coffee at my place and think about how we can sort all this out.

Mrs. P.: I'd love to. (Gets up.)

Stella: I've always had an interest in your family. But I've never found the occasion to come by and talk with you. (They leave together. Ashley and Mr. P. sit in the kitchen in silence for a bit.)

Ashley: Well, I've got to be going, Mr. Pompedou.

Mr. P.: You haven't finished your hot chocolate yet.

Ashley: (Gulps the last of it down.) All done. (Fake smile.)
Thanks. Be seeing you... (Gets up.)

Mr. P.: (Sighs heavily.) Come see Myrtle anytime.

(Ashley leaves. Mr. P sits alone in the kitchen, brooding. After a bit Myrtle can be heard off-stage.)

Myrtle: Come on Mr. George. We've got to get home. I haven't eaten yet. (She appears leading Mr. George by a string.) Didn't we have fun playing in the water? I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you, Mr. George.

Mr. P.: (Calls from the house.) Myrtle.

Myrtle. Yes?

Mr. P.: I have something we need to talk about.

Myrtle: Leaves Mr. George outside and comes in and goes over to give her father a hug and a kiss.) What is it, Dad?

Mr. P.: Sit down.

Myrtle: (Sits at the table:) Is it about breakfast? Am I late?

Mr. P.: No, Myrtle. It's something more serious.

(Lights.)


SCENE VI. A dark swamp. The next day.

(A clearing in a dark swamp. A body of water is visible to one side. Myrtle. Ashley, Bobby and the two alligators are in the
clearing. The baby alligator, Cuddles, is tied to a tree. Myrtle pets him idly while she talks with Ashley. Georgina is with Bobby, and it is now clear that they have become great friends.)

Myrtle: Michelle gets to have Scruffy. Thomas gets to have a whole zoo. But can I have one pet of my own?

Ashley: Don't forget Cuddles.

Myrtle: Two, then. Two little pets.

Ashley: It isn't fair.

Myrtle: And Dad let them talk him into making me get rid of Georgina and Cuddles. He's so wishy-washy.

Ashley: Do you think Georgina ate Scruffy.

Myrtle: (Shrugs.) How should I know?

Ashley: My parents worried about Georgina. They thought she might be dangerous.

Myrtle: She never hurt anyone.

Ashley: I tried to tell them that.

Myrtle: Parents never listen.

Ashley: They treat Bobby and me like we were babies.

Myrtle: I'm glad you decided to run away with me.

Ashley: Well, we're friends. Right.

Bobby: Does anyone know where we are?

Myrtle. Somewhere in Salamander Swamp.

Bobby: But where?

Myrtle: Right here, at this very spot.

Ashley: Where else?

Bobby: You know what I mean. This is pretty far from home. Have you ever been here before?

Myrtle: We had to find a swamp further from home. They're draining the one that's close.

Ashley: And we couldn't survive in a drained swamp. There would be nothing to eat.

Bobby: What are we going to eat. I'm hungry.

Myrtle: We'll find something.

Bobby: Like what?

Myrtle: I don't know. Bananas or something.

Bobby: I don't see any bananas. (Everybody is silent for a while, looking around a though they would see trees laden with fruit at any point.) Also I'm thirsty. Did anyone bring any water.

Ashley: There's plenty of water, all around. We won't die of thirst.

Bobby: I can't drink that water.

Ashley: Why not?

Bobby. It has fish in it.

Ashley: So?

Bobby: Did you ever wonder where fish go to the bathroom?

Myrtle: They build little out-houses under rocks.

Bobby: I mean for real.

Ashley: (Motions to the water.) Where else?

Bobby: (Looks at the water a long time.) I'm not going to drink it.

Myrtle: Don't be silly Bobby. It won't hurt you.

Bobby: (To Myrtle) You drink it then. (When Myrtle stares at the water for awhile, and does nothing, Bobby turns to Ashley.) What about you?

Ashley: (Looks at the water a long time.) I'm not thirsty.

Bobby: And what about blankets. It might get cold at night, or even rain.

Myrtle: We'll build something.

Bobby: (looks around suspiciously.) And things might get us.

Myrtle: Don't worry about that. Georgina will keep us safe.

Ashley. Maybe so, Myrtle. But Bobby does have a point.

Myrtle: What point?

Ashley: Maybe we didn't plan this too well.

Myrtle: I didn't make anyone come along. You can go home whenever you want.

Ashley: No we can't.

Myrtle: Why?

Ashley: Can't leave you here alone.

Myrtle: Why not.

Ashley: 'Cause we're friends.

Bobby: I want to go home.

Myrtle: Go, then.

Bobby: I want my mom and dad.

Myrtle: What a baby you are.

Bobby: I'm not. You need your mom and dad too.

Myrtle: Don't.

Bobby: Do.

Myrtle: Not when they make me get rid of my best friend!

Bobby: Parents don't let us be without food and water.

Myrtle: There's other ways to get those things.

Bobby: And they teach us things.

Myrtle: I can read books by myself.

Bobby: And they tell us bed-time stories. (Is on the point of tears.)

Myrtle: What is the matter with your brother, Ashley?

Ashley: (Shrugs.) Maybe he's tired.

Bobby: (To both of them.) Parents don't let us be lonely.

Myrtle: Who's lonely. I've got my friends. (Reaches out to touch Ashley, but Ashley pulls back slightly, and moves closer to Bobby. They are all tense and silent for a moment. Suddenly everybody, including the alligators, is startled by a roaring from off stage.)

Bobby: What's that?!?!

Myrtle: (Jumps up and looks in the direction from which the roaring came. After a moment she speaks.) Holy Toledo. It's an alligator. It's even bigger than Georgina. (Georgina jumps up and down in joy, and runs toward the sound, but then stops, comes back and tries to get Cuddles to follow her. Cuddles, however, is tied to a tree.)

Ashley: I think Georgina wants to go with it.

Myrtle: Maybe it's her husband.

Bobby: Untie her.

Myrtle: No. She's mine. Georgina won't leave without Cuddles. (Georgina goes back and forth, obviously wanting to go to the other alligator, but not wishing to leave Cuddles, who she keeps coming back to.)

Ashley: She wants to take Cuddles and go with the other alligator. (Roar is heard again.)

Bobby: That's better than letting the other alligator come get us.

Myrtle: (To Georgina.) Some friend you are. As soon as some big alligator hunk come along, its all over. So go on then. Just go on. But I'm going to keep Cuddles. (Cuddles begins to wail.)

Ashley: You have to let her go, Myrtle. They all want to be together. (They hear the roar again.)

Myrtle: I can't.

Ashley: If you love Georgina, you will.

Myrtle: (Looks a long time at Georgina, and then at Cuddles. Finally she goes over and very slowly unties Cuddles. Cuddles runs off to join her mother and they both leave off stage in the direction of the alligator roar. Myrtle sits down and turns her back to everybody. By her sniffing in the movement of her back you can tell she is crying. Significant pause. Then Georgina comes back, goes up behind Myrtle, and nudges her. Myrtle turns around, and they hug and kiss each other. Then Georgina leaves. Myrtle stands and waves in the direction of the departing alligators.) Good bye! Good bye! ( She stands a long time staring after them.)

Bobby: We'd better get home before it gets dark.

SCENE VII: The original swamp. A few days later.

Myrtle sits leaning up against the rock in the swamp that she sat on in the first scene. She speaks to an unseen presence that is apparently behind the rock.

Myrtle: Don't you love the way slime feels when it oozes up between your toes?

(Thinks about this for a minute. Then nods her head. Climbs up on the rock. A sound catches her attention, and she turns her head to one side and peers in that direction.)

Listen. Hear the bulldozers? I hate it that they're going to drain the swamp. That's what started the whole problem. (Pause.) I miss Georgina. (Pause.) Thomas named one of his gerbils after her...actually gave it a real name. He called it Mr. George the second. (Pause) It had babies, too. (Giggles.) I guess Thomas still doesn't know everything. (She becomes reflective again.) I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't found you. You're my best friend. (Pause.) At least you'll still be around when the swamp is drained.

(The sound of barking is heard off stage. Ashley emerges from behind the rock. She looks in the direction of the sound.)

Ashley: Look. Isn't that Scruffy?

Myrtle: Sure. He's come to tell me he wants his breakfast.

Ashley: I thought Georgina ate him.

Myrtle: No. He turned up. He'd been hiding under Amber's bed. After Georgina was gone, he figured it was safe to come out.

Ashley: He was hiding there all that time?

Myrtle: Yeah. He had a regular little nest there...had a couple of bones...one of my slippers...an old throw rug.

Ashley: So Georgina was innocent?

Myrtle: Yeah. She didn't eat the gerbil either. Mom found him behind the bathtub.

Ashley: Hmmm. Well, I guess we better get going. The other kids will be looking for us.

Ashley: Yeah. We've got a lot to do today. (They walk off hand in hand.)